Six months?!? Six months since the last Hate Files. It was a doozy though. The hate I had kept inside for Jay Cutler was something fierce. This one is definitely not on that same level, but it has its similarities.
Hate is such a strong word. I told my son the other day NOT to say that word. I told him if he hears me saying it, to call me out on it. In today’s world, we need a lot less hate; I truly believe that Love Trumps Hate every time. (Do you see what I did there?). But the Hate Files are a treasure. The feelings that I have for my teams are strong. There are certain teams and players that we will cherish for all time. There are certain opponents that we will forever hate. There are certain players that we had to tolerate since they played on one of our teams, but now that they have left, we can say how we really felt. Dwyane Wade falls in that last category.
Somehow I missed slamming him before he joined the Bulls. It wasn’t always like that. With his outstanding performance in the NCAA tourney, it was another big time display on the big stage by a kid from Chicago…or just outside of Chicago to be exact. And then when he won his first NBA title, I was happy for him. I always try to support kids from my town. But then it all changed.
He used us. He played with our emotions. We thought he would choose the Bulls…to join up with another kid from Chicago. To come in and be that final piece of the championship puzzle. Yes, that would have been good. But no, there were never any intentions there. Instead, he formed the hated Miami super team. Convincing Lebron that coming to South Beach would be best for him and his mom. Making sure that Lebron knew he wouldn’t have to worry about being something he’s not, that he would take care of the clutch moments; he even got Ray Allen for that too. Then they got on stage and promised 8 titles. You bastard.
They only got a couple, but the hate still grew. Wade taught the NBA the art of flopping, and Lebron was his number one student. He also fine tuned the art of whining at the officials, even sacrificing playing defense to get his say in. And when he’d play the Bulls, he’d take our hearts out, even jumping on the scorer’s table after hitting a game winner. Yes, I somehow missed him the first time around.
And then he DID come to the Bulls; lucky us. We get an aging, way past his prime star, who was coming off a bitter divorce in Miami. We were his rebound relationship. He used us…again. And we paid him via wheel barrow full of cash. He suckered the Bulls big time. Instead of getting younger and more athletic, instead of trying to build around our superstar with a young team, we overpaid a guy in an attempt to fill seats. Not really Wade’s fault, but that’s not the point here.
Wade marched in with his wacky fashion sense; we don’t play that shit in Chicago man. You look like a damn fool. He tried to set the example for everybody by practicing hard everyday…wink wink. He then tried to show Buckets how to be a leader by calling out his teammates publically. He then proceeded to give us absolutely zero memorable moments on the court; can you remember one? And better yet, we were stuck with him for another year!?!?
Of course Wade was going to exercise his option; would you throw away 23 million? But nobody wanted him to stay; nobody wanted him in 2016 either. So he gave us a break and stole only 15 more million from us, bringing this highway robbery grand total to 38 million. Wow! Talk about the biggest waste of money ever; I told you he had something in common with Cutler.
Yes, and now he signs back with his brokeback buddy in Cleveland of all places chasing one more ring. The hate is now complete. The order for the file was placed, and now it has been filled.
You’re washed up bum. You screwed the Bulls not once, but twice. You’re a thief and a flopper. I hope you enjoy your one year in the Land; doesn’t everybody enjoy Cleveland? And I’ll try to remember my best memory of you; when Taj dunked over your sorry ass. Have fun in your 40 or so games you play; can’t wait to see you guys get smoked in the playoffs. And finally, Dwyane is spelled Dwayne! You dumb ass. Peace.