April 8, 2020: Normal

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Normal… nobody likes normal right? Normal is defined as usual, typical, expected… real exciting stuff. Normally, normal isn’t looked at as so hot. What I wouldn’t give for some normal right about now.

There is still some normal… Although I’m waking up about 30 minutes later than normal, my son and I still have our “normal” bowl of cereal; that’s where the normal ends. Typically my wife would drop him off at school and me at the train station. Now, he heads into the office to start his “eLearning”, while I fly to work in my car, enjoying the lack of traffic; one silver lining in all of this. Why do I still speed to work then? I don’t know… I guess that’s what I would normally do when there is no traffic on the way to work. Guess maybe I’m just trying to feel some type of normal…

There’s hardly anybody downtown. I end up parking on either the 4th or the 6th floor, when typically I’d end up on the 10th. Instead of thousands of people coming in and out of our building, there’s more like dozens. I’m not in the office everyday like I typically would be; working a day or two from home a week… more to break up the new routine for my wife and son than anything else. I like that part.

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I’m not wearing a mask… I don’t know, feel like I have to draw the line somewhere. I completely understand that it is serious; I can respect that. I’m not going to be doing anything stupid like lick street posts or elevator buttons; I’m not going to hug anybody or cough in their face. I’ve worn gloves to pump gas and fill up my tires. I haven’t been into a store in weeks; that’s not the worst thing in the world. My wife is taking care of all that; she’s taking care of a lot… very lucky in that way. Last thing I want to do is get somebody else sick, like my son and/or wife. I guess I don’t feel like I’m putting myself in that much danger on a daily basis; I guess leaving the house on any given day assumes some sort of risk… like living in the city vs the suburbs.

I don’t know what to think at times. I do know this: I’m sick of this shit already. I don’t know what the new “normal” will be, but I’m ready for it; I know it can’t be this. Until then, we patiently wait; taking things day by day has never been truer. As far as that philosophy goes, I’m pretty good at that; why am I feeling so much angst now then?

OK, enough whining… got to keep it moving, keep on trucking… staying strong, being smart for my family, for the folks at my job. Praying for the best for the world. Missing normal.

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