Have you ever had to call an 800 number to get customer service? If you have, and if that experience has not been good, you’re in the right place. I’ve had to do this a few times lately, and let me tell you… I hate it. I mean, I fricking dread it. I have zero patience for it. I absolutely HATE having to get on the phone to talk to someone for some customer service. Now, I need to let it out…
First off, how long will it take you to speak to a human? This initial experience once you dial that number is just brutal. Press 1 for this, press 2 for that, press 3 for this…. OK, now, let’s do another round of the prompt circus. Wait, not quite there yet… how about another round? OK, after 25 F-ing prompts, you may reach a point on the call where you have to zero out, and then you get disconnected?!?! You just wasted how much time trying to talk to a human, and then you get hung up on, when your need doesn’t fit a prompt?!?! F this.
Maybe you can speak your answers into the phone; oh, wow, how cool… voice recognition software. F that too. Half the damn time it’s like a bad drive through speaker, but even if it’s not, unless your request matches something, you may get a “don’t understand, can your repeat” response. Maybe you try again. Maybe it works. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe your back on the prompt merry go round hoping for it to end at some point. Having fun yet?
Then, then… you finally talk to someone. Now look, I don’t have anything against someone who doesn’t speak very good English. You’re from another country; you have another language as your primary. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, when my primary language is English, and I’m trying to explain myself to someone whose primary language is NOT English… this doesn’t always go so well. You have to get lucky there. Shit, even if you get someone who speaks fluent English, you STILL may have an issue getting your concern addressed. Take for example one of my recent experiences…
I had to call the bank that handles my mortgage, due to something that popped on my credit report. I went through the prompt circus, and got to somebody; she spoke perfect English. Didn’t matter. She told me to address my concern I had to call the credit bureaus… for something the bank notated… excuse me? You F up, and I have to waste my time and energy fixing it? Good customer service is a lost art; it’s quite clear.
Maybe they’re doing this on purpose? They’re making your experience trying to call someone on the phone to get customer service so painful, you’d rather text somebody… and guess what? I’ve done that too; it ain’t that much better. I think the end game for these companies is to discourage you so much that you just don’t waste the time to reach out. That’s the direction I’m being pushed, let me tell you.
I guess we just have to hope all our stuff goes right, with zero intervention. If something doesn’t go right, and you need to reach out to Customer Service… Good F-ing Luck. Banks, cable/phone companies, credit bureaus… Shit, even trying to talk to someone at my job sometimes… brutal. This is life today. Long gone are the days you can walk in somewhere, sit down, and talk with somebody who actually gives a shit. Almost gone are the days where you can pick up the phone, dial a phone number, and talk to someone; they’re making it harder and harder. Welcome to the days of texting/chatting… no, not with a human, but with a bot… if the bot can’t help you, then maybe a person, or maybe just a big F-U… deal with it. Bend over, come again… Isn’t it great?
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