October 21, 2020: The Masked Life

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I really thought this shit would be over by now. Back 7 months ago, thinking how long will this last, this COVID BS… for sure by the summer, right? OK, well for sure when the kids go back to school? I was right that football wouldn’t be slowing down, but now we’re coming up to the holidays, and still??? Anybody asks me how’s it going, I tell them I’m living the masked life.

Nobody likes wearing them, but we got to do what we got to do. It’s uncomfortable; they’re a pain in the ass to remember to walk out of the house with them. When I’m doing anything, I hate having it on; like walking up a flight of stairs… I can’t breathe… but that may not be because of the mask. Anyways, there are some positives to wearing one, no? Well, I’m here to tell you there are. Let me show you that half full glass.

Shaving! I hate shaving; I didn’t do it that often pre-mask. Now? Forget about it. I may go weeks without shaving. Who cares? Nobody is seeing your damn face. Well, my wife may not agree, but not shaving is awesome. Thank you mask! And let’s take it a step further. You have some nose hairs hanging out? Don’t worry about it. That mask will cover it right up; multi-functional let me tell you. And while we’re on the hygiene topic… how about that bad breath? Always worried about having some gum or mints on you? You don’t have to worry about that living the masked life. Save those dollars and get another mask! Rotate based on what you’re wearing that day. Let it become a fashion statement for you. Haha… well, I’m not worried about that personally; I just grab whatever, but… bedazzle that bad boy up if that floats your boat.

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Wearing a mask could also be scary though… Think about meeting someone for the first time; think about meeting someone from the opposite sex for the first time and they have half their face covered up with a mask. Damn girl, you look good. Nice head of hair, nice eyes maybe. Now fast forward to when you see her for the first time without a mask. Damn girl, what the hell happened to your teeth? Or what’s up with that pig snout? Be forewarned single folks. Take the proper precaution. Ask to see what’s under that mask before proceeding and good luck with that.

Yeah, better buckle down; these masks ain’t going anywhere any time soon. Sure, will some of the “COVID hype” slow down after the election? Maybe… hopefully. But I imagine we’ll be strapping up at least until the spring, but who knows? Now we’re talking a whole year; I’ve heard some others say a couple years, and to them I say FU. Well, OK, maybe they have the whole science thing backing up their opinions; that’s smart right? Yeah, but life will be moving on, COVID or not. Once the vaccine is around (for those who take it) and more importantly a proven treatment plan, we’re moving forward, right? Let’s see what happens, but until then enjoy not shaving, trimming your nose hairs, and brushing your teeth, and be careful with what may lie under that mask; it’s a crazy, masked world out there. Thanks COVID.

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