October 4, 2022: The Hate Files LV

Well, well, well… an old friend has popped up in the news recently, and it got me thinking. How did this guy go this long without getting his very own entry into the Hate Files? It’s pretty amazing actually. His team has one of the original Hate Files; his successor has two already!!! Just can’t believe that I’ve let Brett Favre off the hook all these years. Welp, time’s up buddy!

Maybe I let him off the hook because of his appearance in one of my favorite movies There’s Something About Mary… FAV..RA. Or maybe it’s that MNF performance after his father’s death that kept a small, soft place in my heart for him. Who knows. Maybe I was just trying to forget the reign of terror that started with him at the helm. Yes, ever since he took over at QB, the Packers have owned the Bears; I guess you can say Favre is on the board too? That alone is enough to generate the hate.

Of course, my Green Bay hate goes back to when I was a kid… Mark Lee, Ken Stills, Charles Martin, etc. Yeah, I hated them even when the Bears owned THEM. Enter this hillbilly originally drafted by the Atlanta Falcons. I guess you can say that was one of the worst trades of all time? Thanks a lot Atlanta… The Bears actually beat the Packers in Brett Favre’s first game ever against us; how about them apples??? The 2nd game that season is when Favre began the year old habit of beating our Bears. His record against us was 22-10; after seeing what Rodgers has done against us, shit, that ain’t half bad. It was bad though. This “gunslinger” firing darts all over the field, making plays with his legs, finding ways to beat us… sickening. His record was a lot more impressive until the 2005 season. Yeah, we beat Favre and the Pack 5 of the last 6 games he started for them. Take that you back country bastard. So yeah, he was actually 21-5 against us before then… OK, see, I told you it was bad. It stayed bad for good old Brett when he went to Minnesota; we beat him 3 out of 4 games there, including the final one… where Corey Wooten ended his career. I need that on a fricking poster man… haha.

Yeah, good old Brett… firing throws into triple coverage and somehow pulling out a completion half the time. Well, there was that other half the time. Yeah, Fav-ra owns an NFL record that I don’t believe will ever be broken. 336 career picks!!! Tom Brady, the closest active QB, would have to throw another 132 picks before he retires to tie him… haha. All that “greatness” from Favre added up to 1 Super Bowl championship at the end of the day; same amount as Jim McMahon. At least Favre will always have the INT record…

And now, he’s back in the news! No, Wrangler didn’t come out with a new pair of tight fitting jeans, this dude actually stole millions from the poor in his home state of Mississippi. I mean, I knew he was a scumbag, but damn… stealing from the poor?!? That’s like walking past somebody asking for change on the street, putting a nickel in his hat, and taking out $20… or like putting $1 in the collection basket in Church, but taking out $50… except like a million times worse. Haven’t heard from good old Brett about that one… maybe he can blame all the hits to the head he endured over the years, or maybe the fact that he’s just plain stupid and got duped… time to throw up one more duck into quadruple coverage Brett…

Everything happens for a reason they say; this scandal is no different. As if their current QB hasn’t done/said enough to make himself out to be a total asshole, good ole, home town boy Brett always had their heart… but now this millionaire stole from poor people??? Well, thank you Brett. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to right my wrongs, to finally write a Hate File just for you. I had forgotten about you for the most part, except for your loss in the Super Bowl against the Broncos; who can forget that fun day? And although Packer fans, smart as they are, will always love you, even after this scandal, it just gives me another reason to hate you. Maybe they’ll even find a yellow and green jumpsuit for you to wear behind bars, you f-ing criminal… good luck being the receiver this time around… TD!!!